I always loved family reunions and/or get-togethers; they have provided me and other family members with lots of information and laughs throughout the years. The old remember when and the telling of family secrets can be a barrel of laughs as long as it's not about you.
It would seem that my family all had a bit of the devil in them and enjoyed nothing more than tormenting each other any way they could.
One time. my Dad and Uncle Glen got into a water fight at Grandma Davidson's home. Uncle Glen was outside with the water hose, and my cowardly father would sneak out with a pan of water, throw it on Glen and then run like mad for the safety of the house and taunt Uncle Glen from behind the screen door. He knew that Glen would never shoot water into the house, so he stayed dry while he soaked Glen to the skin.
Grandma Davidson watched the two men playing this one-sided water fight game for a while from the sidelines. Finally, she decided that it was time to intervene and let Glen get his revenge.
Waiting for just the right moment from her hiding place in the kitchen, she made her move when my father was running for the safety of the house. She quickly closed and locked the back door, thus leaving my father at the mercy of Glen to water down.
The joke at family dinners was another laughable time for all. Let's say that there was one fried pork chop left on the serving plate after everyone had eaten theirs. Someone would ask whether anyone else wanted it, and each one would say, "No."
As soon as the person who asked reached over to get it, there would be seven forks flying into it to steal it away from them.
When Grandma Davidson came to visit my mother and me, we took her to a real fancy restaurant that we'd heard about. We were all enjoying this expensive treat when Grandma Davidson leaned over and whispered in my ear, "This soup tastes just like water."
I looked over to see what she was referring to. Holding back a laugh, I advised her, "That is water, grandma; it's a finger bowl."
My Uncle Cliff and Aunt Billie came to visit from Dallas one year and, of course, nothing in California was as good as it was in Texas per my uncle. Knowing that they both liked Mexican food, I advised him that we had a takeout place nearby that served the best burritos in the world. They had chunks of beef in them that were almost an inch thick, and the green chili sauce was to die for.
I drove over and got each of us one and dashed home with them. Uncle Cliff's eyes lit up after he folded back the paper it was wrapped in and got his first bite of the beef, sauce, beans and cheese.
When he got about halfway through it, I asked him, "Well, what do you think about our burritos here?"
"I'll have to admit, it's the best I've ever tasted, but it's a bit tough to chew," he answered in his thick Texas drawl.
I looked over and saw that in his haste to devour it, he had failed to pull down the paper it was wrapped in as he ate it. "It wouldn't be so tough to chew if you pulled the paper down before you ate it!"
We all laughed till we cried over that mistake of his.
A native of Minnesota, Carol Olson grew up in South Dakota and Walnut Creek and now lives in Pittsburg. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.