Top o' the evening to you, oh "Amazing Race" fans! Or should that be, O'Amazing Race?

The surfers have gone home, wasting their Express Pass in a fit of utter stupidity. The remaining eight teams are heading for Hanoi, Vietnam and the Rap Cong Nhan Theater -- and a Double U-turn at some point this episode. Ahead: Bamboo dances, cryptic umbrellas, pho-making lessons and the discovery that Chuck thinks Vietnamese people speak Spanish.

Dad-and-lad, Dave and Connor are in first place, but it will be a short-lived victory. Dave's torn Achilles tendon needs surgery within seven days, and that clock started ticking down way back -- actually, we've got no clue how many days have elapsed.

The hockey brothers are feeling pretty smug, talking about "the target on our back" because of "how well" they've performed in detours. Um, guys, you're in seventh place. Out. Of. Eight.

The first teams arrive gleefully at the theater -- a short-lived glee, because the place doesn't open until morning. When the other teams arrive, they suddenly realize who has been eliminated. "I can't believe someone got eliminated holding an Express Pass," Max says, chortling. "That's overconfidence. Conceit."

In the morning, Dave and Connor arrive at the pit stop mat to DQ themselves in a scene that has us reaching for tissues. Connor describes his dad in words that are any dad's dream: "He's amazing. He's my best friend. He's my hero. I would rather run four legs with you than win a million dollars with anyone else." So very sweet.


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Roadblock: Quote Time

When the museum opens, one member of each team must watch the colorful performance of a patriotic song, accompanied by lots of flags, umbrellas and a pop beat. The umbrellas carry a political quote about the "glory of our young generation" in Vietnamese and the racers have five minutes to find the quote on a poster in a nearby room filled with posters bearing really similar phrases. Confuse your "thay" with your "the" and you're sunk.

Pam is the first to finish and the besties head for Gong Vien Thong Nat to take part in the Vietnamese bamboo dance, which proves very easy. We thought we were going to see some ankle smashing, but nope. The bamboo poles are moved and clacked together in a predictable beat as pairs of racers hop through, unscathed.

The besties head for the detour, followed by many fellow racers. Wynona and Mr. Mullet end up having to do the dance again and again, dropping what should have been a second or third place spot to sixth.

The Detour: Make Your Move or Make Your Meal

At the detour, teams must make a choice. In "make your move," each team must play a giant game of Chinese chess with human players, but first, they'll have to find four of them in the crowd, wearing robes with the symbol that corresponds to the missing pieces on a board. The besties madly round up people, without realizing that the color of the robe has to match the piece too.

They finally figure it out and head for the next stop: the B-52 Memorial which commemorates a bomber shot down during the Vietnam War.

The country girls are randomly putting people in chess squares, getting more frustrated by the minute. "They're putting them in order," one of these brainiacs finally figures out.

In the meal challenge, which Katie and Max race off to complete, they'll be making a bowl of pho, after collecting the necessary ingredients -- which include two live chickens, basil, ginger, bean sprouts and such -- at a market. They find an English-speaking woman to help and tote their fare in a shoulder-slung pair of baskets.

Chuck and Wynona promptly get lost looking for the market. "I don't see no market! Chuck! Chuck!" Wynona says, in what will become a strident, whining refrain.

The U-turn

At the memorial, a crashed B-52 sits in the middle of a big pool, surrounded by buildings and city life. It's a jarring sight -- a profound statement on war and its impact on people.

It's here that the U-turn sign awaits. In this double-U -- er, W? -- anonymous racers can force each other to perform both halves of the detour. Anonymous, huh? YouTubers, the besties did you in.

The besties head to the mat -- and the pit stop -- at the National Museum of History in first place, winning a trip to Whistler. "You guys feeling super confident right now?" Phil asks them.

"You never want to feel super confident, because that's when you let your guard down," Winnie says. "You can ask John." That would be surfer boy, holder of the Express Pass.

Meanwhile, the YouTubes have just discovered their fate. They U-turn Chuck and Wynona and head off to make pho. At the market, the shopkeepers have figured out that all these crazy people and their cameramen have the same shopping list, so they just start filling bags.

Chuck and Wynona finally finish making their soup. Chuck tells the Vietnamese soup judge "Mucho gracias" when he gives them the next clue. He's not only speaking Spanish to a Vietnamese person, he's doing it badly. The capper on the bickering duo's day: At the memorial, they discover they'll be playing chess.

Back at the mat, newlyweds Max and Katie have arrived in second place, the roller derbies are third, the hockey brothers are fourth and the country girls are fifth. Phil tortures the YouTubes by telling them, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are at the back of the pack," before delivering the good news: sixth place. And Chuck and Wynona should be going home but they've won a respite due to Dave and Connor's withdrawal from the race.