TO GRASP TODAY'S Big Game mojo between Cal and host Stanford, it's time for our third annual interview with The Stanford Axe, also known as "Q & Axe."

Q: We meet again, dear friend. Is it true Cal students seized the wrong building Friday in trying to prevent you from leaving campus?

A: Don't worry, I'll make it to The Farm tonight, as long as we slow for the Bay Bridge's S-curve. Hey, is that short for "Stanford" curve?

Q: I'll ask the questions, thanks. Isn't it terrific that bigger prizes than you are finally at stake in the Big Game?

A: Son, respect your elders. I turned 110 this year. I don't give a hoot about any Heisman Trophy or Rose Bowl chances.

Q: Stanford sure does. Red-hot Heisman candidate Toby Gerhart and the Cardinal just rolled Oregon and USC in back-to-back weeks. Surely you remember Toby?

A: His bum knee kept him out of the last Big Game at Stanford. It was 2007, Stanford won 20-13 and fans stormed the field to carry me off on their shoulders. It was a pretty big deal. So is Toby, I suppose.

Q: What gave it away, those countless Axe-replica stickers on his helmet for making big plays?

A: He has a team-high 120 stickers. My accountant keeps close tabs on all Axe-related merchandise.

Q: Do you know the last individual hardware Toby won?

A: Please, enlighten us.

Q: Toby said he won a "small bowl" as last season's team MVP, and his last statue-type

A: He'll need a big game today (excuse the pun) and especially against Notre Dame next week. He'll also need more hype like the kind Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh posted on Twitter after the win at USC: "Stop the madness. Hand him the Heisman."

Q: Does Harbaugh go for a two-point conversion in this game, too, if Stanford is ahead 48-21?

A: Well, Cal coach Jeff Tedford does own 41-6, 30-7 and 27-3 routs while compiling a 6-1 Big Game record. Gosh, if Tedford ever makes a Rose Bowl, he might get his own statue next to the one of Pappy Waldorf, who went 7-1-2 in Big Games.

Q: Did you know that if Tedford wins today — in his 100th game as Cal's coach — he ties Waldorf for most victories (67) in Cal's modern era?

A: Ah, the Century Club. I joined that once, downing a shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes. I woke up the next morning missing most of my axe handle.

Q: Will Cal miss running back Jahvid Best as he recovers from his goal-line leap two weeks ago?

A: Of course. He is a special talent, and he still might get selected ahead of Gerhart in next year's NFL draft, assuming both wisely enter it to beat a rookie salary scale. But Cal won last week without Best against Arizona. His replacement, Shane Vereen, and quarterback Kevin Riley need to keep Cal's offense on the field (and Gerhart off it).

Q: What about Cal's defense?

A: Harbaugh was right in praising the Bears' line and Tyson Alualu. But it could be up to Pac-10 leading tackler Mike Mohamed to stand up to Gerhart. As for Cal's pass defense, say hello to Andrew Luck.

Q: How good is Luck, aside from the 2,220 yards (eclipsing Chad Hutchinson's freshman school record) and 13 touchdowns (two shy of Steve Stenstrom's freshman mark)?

A: Tedford calls Luck the most underrated player in the country. Hey, maybe you can spread the word that I'm the most underrated trophy in all the land.

Q: Do you know that arguably the world's best athlete is serving as today's honorary captain?

A: Tiger Woods should do more than the pregame coin toss. He needs to buy the Warriors, Raiders, 49ers or A's, and maybe even the Giants so they can afford a power hitter.

Q: You accurately predicted Cal would take you back last year. Where will you sleep tonight?

A: At Stanford. It will win 33-24, its 10th victory in the past 11 home games. I can't wait to use Harbaugh's $50,000 shower after the game.

Contact Cam Inman at cinman@bayareanewsgroup.com. Follow him at twitter.com/CamInman.