Darting here and there . . .

-- Look, if it finally means the end of that preposterous "Golden State" moniker, we'll be more than happy to give the Warriors back to San Francisco. Oakland has been disgraced by that handle for 41 years.

-- Joe Lacob and Peter Guber promised to open the doors by 2017 to their Sea Cow Palace. Suppose that's safer than predicting an NBA title before then.

-- Just our opinion, but that 2017 prediction should have been accompanied by a band playing "Bridge Over Troubled Water."

-- Or perhaps the 1960s Zager & Evans psychedelic hit "In The Year 2525."

-- Just for starters, there's bound to be an ordinance against a "21st century campfire" along the Embarcadero.

-- The headline nobody wrote: Warriors to Trade in Oracle for Orca.

-- Must admit, Piers 30-32 must still be pretty sturdy if they could support all that vanity and bravado.

-- What snarky Oakland residents are saying: Piers 30-32 are appropriate, considering that's what the Warriors average in victories every year.

-- It's a big "if " whether Ed Lee or David Lee will be around by 2017. But at least we can be assured Andy Lee will be nearby . . . in Santa Clara.

-- Not to worry, Warriors fans, there will be plenty of parking at the new place, as long as you own a yacht.

-- Double standard dept.: The Giants would fight the A's in a cage match over San Jose, but they're going to let an owner of the Dodgers (Guber) move in right down the street?

-- Oh, wow, nice to see Jerry West really does still work for the Warriors. Last time he made the Bay Area rounds, he was promoting a book about himself.

-- It's a good thing David Stern didn't lean back on his stool. Hoo boy, that would have been embarrassing, having to go fish for the commish.

-- Weird of the Warriors to include Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom, the guy who couldn't hold on to the 49ers for his city while mayor, spouting that he can clear the decks of red tape.

-- Ahmad Rashad? Really? What, Ryan Seacrest was busy? That should have been a slam dunk. SEA-crest. Get it? Oh, never mind.

-- One convenient thing about the pier location: When the Warriors ship out underachieving players, they can put them on an actual ship.

-- Maybe you should just sit tight, Lew Wolff. In a few years you might have that whole vast parcel of Coliseum property to yourself.

-- Mario Mendoza, he of the infamous Mendoza Line, would be a star on the A's. Mendoza hit .215 for his career. Oakland as a team was hitting .210 entering Friday.

-- Sad to say, but you can almost set your watch to Brandon McCarthy's shoulder every May.

-- Wait until Manny Ramirez gets to the Coliseum and finds out they don't pack 'em in like they do at Raley Field. He might want to go back to Sacto.

-- The Warriors should take note that when the Giants leave AT&T Park, they actually hit.

-- The Giants' home-road differentials are jaw-dropping: six home runs and 73 runs at AT&T in 22 games, 23 home runs and 111 runs in 23 road games entering Friday. Candlestick, anyone?

-- Holy Ty Cobb, the Giants actually have more triples at home than homers: eight to six. At what point do fans reprise Ronald Reagan and cry, "Mr. Baer, tear down that wall."

-- Home or road, Brandon Belt has yet to belt one. Homer-less since September, he may be in line for a name change if this keeps up: Brandon Bunt (yes, we could have said Bust, but we'll go easy on the kid for now).

-- Speaking of names, has someone actually checked to see if Brandon Crawford's middle name isn't "LeMaster?"

-- Even Brian Sabean probably didn't realize when he acquired Melky Cabrera he was actually getting Willie Keeler.

-- How about the shabby-looking grass at that new Miami park? It looks like the entire field for the U.S. Open played through on its way to the Olympic Club.

-- And another thing: Lime green gets old real fast. Like after two innings. Works on Volkswagens, not on ballparks.

-- When the 49ers sign their punter for six years, you know they're dotting all the I's. But wait a minute, the Niners think they'll actually have to punt next year?

-- Rooting for an all-AARP NBA Finals: Boston vs. San Antonio. Let's baldly go where no teams have gone before.

-- We'd be more excited about Gene Bleymaier as new San Jose State athletic director if he'd brought Chris Petersen with him from Boise State instead of a vapor trail of NCAA violations.

-- Finally, even we don't get bored enough to watch darts on the new NBC Sports channel. Hurry up already, Olympics.

Contact Carl Steward at csteward@bayareanewsgroup.com. More darting on Twitter @stewardsfolly.