Lindsay Lohan and rumored girlfriend Samantha Ronson reportedly are set to marry.

We professional journalists love words like "rumored," and "reportedly," and must legally use them as much as possible.

The actress is reportedly planning to exchange vows with Ronson at a private ceremony in Los Angeles later this year, and her mother, Dina, is rumored already to have started planning a lavish party, according to the New Zealand Herald. No, really "... that's where we got this.

A source reportedly said: "They've been keeping the relationship quiet for months and trying to pass each other off as 'just good friends.' But they've decided it isn't a fling, it's for life, so they want to make their romance public. Dina is still working on the date of the party but it's looking like towards the end of the year."

Yes, you read that right. It's for life.

The nuptials are rumored to reportedly take place, maybe, in November, around the same time Lohan releases her new album "Spirit in the Dark." Which would be a total coincidence because no one in Hollywood would schedule a lesbian marriage to help promote a new record.

The 22-year-old star reportedly has bought a white Chanel minidress for the ceremony, while Samantha — rumored to be the sister of superproducer Mark Ronson — is reportedly toying with the idea of wearing a suit and top hat, both rumored to be black. Reportedly.

ACTOR

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DOING WELL: Morgan Freeman is doing well in Jackson, Miss., after surgery to reconnect nerves and repair damage to his left arm and hand following a car wreck Sunday night. The Monday night surgery "lasted approximately 4½ hours including recovery and he is in good spirits and was visiting with family members this morning," Donna Lee, Freeman's publicist, said in a statement Tuesday.

Freeman, 71, and Demaris Meyer, 48, of Memphis, Tenn., were taken to the Regional Medical Center in Memphis following the accident on a dark stretch of rural Mississippi Delta highway in Tallahatchie County. State troopers said the car careened off the highway and flipped end over end before landing upright in a ditch.

The Mississippi Highway Patrol is still investigating the accident, Sgt. Ben Williams said Tuesday. Alcohol and drugs don't appear to be a factor and no citations are likely to be filed, he said.

WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU TALK: Mary-Kate Olsen may have no choice regarding saying more about the drugs found in Heath Ledger's body after his accidental death.

The federal Drug Enforcement Administration office in New York confirmed to "Access Hollywood" that it has issued a subpoena to compel the famous twin to testify in front of a grand jury.

Five medications were found in Ledger's body, according to the DEA, and three were obtained legally. The question marks are how he acquired Oxycontin and Vicodin without a legal prescription.

Olsen was the first person called by the masseuse who discovered Ledger's body Jan. 22 in his apartment.

She said through a rep Monday that she already has "provided the government with relevant information" and would not speak to government officials without immunity.

But that might not mean she has something to hide.

"Access Hollywood" quoted a "high-profile defense attorney," Benjamin Brafman, as saying that seeking immunity is not the same as admitting guilt.

"It may not mean anything other than she's getting good legal advice," Brafman told Access. "You don't know what the DEA may suspect in this case and I think it's a cautious way to proceed."

PARIS SPEAKS "... NO, REALLY: Paris Hilton has filmed a spoof response for Web site Funny or Die in which she calls presidential candidate John McCain old, wrinkly and a bunch of other stuff that was probably too funny for her to actually write.

Last week, McCain launched an ad comparing Democratic rival Barack Obama to Hilton and Britney Spears, suggesting he was a mere celebrity candidate not ready to lead the nation.

"Hey, America, I'm Paris Hilton and I'm a celebrity, too. Only I'm not from the olden days and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot," Hilton said, reclining in a pool chair in a revealing bathing suit and a pair of pumps. "But then that wrinkly, white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I'm running for president. So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude. I want America to know that I'm, like, totally ready to lead."

She then discusses energy policy, which really proves she didn't write a word of it.

"Energy crisis solved! I'll see you at the debates," she said.

Hilton's mother, who with her husband donated $4,600 to McCain's campaign earlier in the year, has said McCain's ad is "a complete waste of the country's time and attention at the very moment when millions of people are losing their homes and their jobs."

Today's People Column was compiled by Tony Hicks and Vicki Walker from news service reports. Comments? Write to us c/o the Times, P.O. Box 8099, Walnut Creek, CA 94596-8099. Or call 925-943-8262, fax 925-943-8265, or e-mail thicks@bayareanewsgroup.com.

Milestones

Birthdays: Jazz musician Charlie Haden (71), actor-director Peter Bonerz (70), actor Dorian Harewood (58), actress Catherine Hicks (57), rock singer Pat MacDonald of Timbuk 3 (56), country musician Mark DuFresne of Confederate Railroad (55), actress Stepfanie Kramer (52), R&B singer Randy DeBarge (50), country singers Peggy and Patsy Lynn (44), movie writer-director M. Night Shyamalan (38), singer Geri Halliwell (36), actress Ever Carradine (34), actress Soleil Moon Frye (32), rock singer Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes (27), rock musician Eric Roberts of Gym Class Heroes (24).