Generally speaking, it's a waste of energy to advocate for something that has no chance of coming to pass.
It may be a staple of sports talk radio — "Hi, this is Headbanger from Pinole, and I think the A's should trade Lenny DiNardo for K-Rod" — but it inevitably leads to a discussion that makes you wish you'd done something more constructive with your time.
Like organize your sock drawer.
Today, however, we willingly engage in a bit o' fanciful speculation, because the preposterously far-fetched notion of Bill Parcells joining the front office of the Oakland Raiders is too delicious to ignore.
In the event you missed Sunday's news, Parcells, who has spent this season overseeing the Miami Dolphins' rise from 1-15 laughingstocks to division champions, could soon be in the market for a new job. This in itself would require the connecting of a few dots:
Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga would have to sell the team (he currently has an agreement to sell 95 percent of his share to a minority partner). This would trigger an escape option in Parcells' contract.
Parcells would have to exercise the option, which would allow him to walk away with the unpaid balance of his contract (said to be $9 million).
Parcells would then have to decide he wants to continue working, as opposed to taking his $9 million booty and retiring to one of those beaches you see on Corona commercials. (According to the story, reported by ESPN's Chris Mortensen, Parcells has his eye on a handful of teams, the Raiders included.)
If all those stars were to align, this notion would face its most problematic presumption of all — that Raiders boss Al Davis would hire Parcells knowing Parcells would want something approaching full authority within the organization.
The Davis we know would rather change the Raiders' colors to turquoise and tapioca before ceding any authority to anyone. So why advocate for something this outlandish?
Because this is a watershed moment in the history of the franchise. For starters, and with no disrespect intended, Davis isn't getting any younger.
He's had health concerns the past few years, and he missed Sunday's game on doctor's orders. He can't do what he did at 50. Moreover, no one in today's NFL can do what he did at 50. The game is that different.
For all those reasons he needs help. Based on what we've seen the past two weekends, he could use it now more than ever.
Yes, the Raiders concluded their sixth consecutive season of double-digit losses. But the way they did it was eye-opening.
First, they beat Houston (which rebounded to knock Chicago out of the postseason picture). Then Sunday they eliminated a desperate Tampa Bay team from playoff contention.
In so doing, they provided a jumping-off point for the 2009 season. The offensive line played reasonably well. They have an intriguing committee of running backs in Justin Fargas, Darren McFadden and Michael Bush. Young receivers Chaz Schilens and Johnnie Lee Higgins have begun making plays.
CBS analyst (and former Raiders quarterback) Rich Gannon gushed about the growth of JaMarcus Russell during Sunday's telecast.
All of which leads to some important, potentially franchise-altering decisions. And frankly, Davis hasn't been grading out too well recently where important, franchise-altering decisions are concerned.
Why advocate for something this out of the box? Because Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, every bit the alpha male/maverick/control freak Davis is, once did it. The Cowboys had five losing records in a seven-year period when Jones hired Parcells to coach the team.
In so doing, he stepped back and let Parcells run the football side of things. It wasn't an overwhelming success. In four seasons under Parcells the Cowboys played in just two postseason games, losing both. But in the six years since Jones' decision, the Cowboys have five winning records.
Davis hiring Parcells would be unexpected. It would be unconventional. But there was a time when Davis gravitated to the unexpected and embraced the unconventional.
Here's his chance to resurrect the Raiders and rehabilitate his legacy with one masterstroke. And free up enough time to attend to that sock drawer he's neglected for too many years now.
Contact Gary Peterson at firstname.lastname@example.org.