Whoa! So this episode opens with an apology to U.S. Vietnam War veterans for the last episode, which was set in Hanoi, Vietnam. We're guessing the offending footage was the portion shot at the B-52 memorial. Maybe? It showed a B-52 fighter that had been shot down in the middle of the city -- an evocative statement, we said last week, on the horrors of war. Apparently the FOX news team interpreted it differently because it's part of a "Fired Up!" page on their site and lots of "have you no decency" statements.

Meanwhile, seven teams remain as our heroes set off for the Makgadikgadi Pan National Park on the edge of the Kalahari Desert. The teams need to know which country their destination is in -- Botswana -- to gain entry to the travel agency. Nearly everyone gets in, some with help from other teams, but Chuck and Wynona start randomly trying to guess where the Kalahari Desert is: Kenya, Australia, Bangladesh, Turkey, Paraguay? Wow.

Detour: Scorpion in a jar

In Botswana, one member of each team must catch a scorpion in a jar, with help from a trio of bushmen. Country singer Caroline watches, oblivious to a strolling lion nearby, as her Botswanan guys promptly scale a tree to safety. Hmm, wonder if "Amazing Race" has ever had a contestant eaten midrace.


Advertisement

And YouTube Joey is only halfway through the task before his voice rises to soprano level. He is freaking out, fluttering his hands, making faces and generally carrying on like a 5-year-old girl in a 1960s sitcom -- and OK, we would probably do that too, but we're going to judge him for it anyway. Get a grip, man! He finally completes the task and names himself "Scorpion King Hunter."

Task completed, the teams head off with their bushmen in their various vans to the next task.

Roadblock: Fire or Fowl

In the fire task, teams must light a fire using zebra manure and a stick, then use the resulting flame to light an elder's pipe. In fowl, they'll have to imitate a guinea fowl and lure their prey into a snare. The first teams head off to start fires, with newlywed Katie complaining mightily about the bushmen's body odor.

Lighting the fire proves challenging but the hockey bros finish first and head off for the Meno a Kwena Safari Camp, the pit stop for the race. The besties are the first team to tackle fowl, saying they know full well that making fire is tough. "We watch a lot of TV," they tell the camera, walking past animals.

Chuck and Wynona do likewise. "Chuck probably does this in his spare time," the besties fret.

They have reason to worry. Chuck explains that in high school, he'd get up early, set traps and catch game, then "cashed them in at the fur exchange."

Soon every other team has given up on fire making and is heading for snare-city.

The Pit Stop

The hockey bros are team number one, winning a trip for two to Phuket, Thailand -- and forcing us to recant last week's snarky comment about their not being nearly as good at this race as they think they are. They triumphed this week.

Besties Pam and Winnie are in second place, Chuck and Wynona arrive third, followed by the YouTubes (fourth), country singers (fifth) and roller derby moms (sixth). Last to the mat: newlyweds Max and Katie, except -- nooooooooooooo!!!!!! It's a nonelimination round so they'll be back next week. See you then.