Amanda Bynes is doing amazing, doesn't drink, never did, wasn't arrested, and is on the verge of becoming a seriously big deal in the world of high fashion.
Bynes called People magazine Wednesday and was either truly lucid, medicated or a robot.
"I am doing amazing," she said. "I am retired as an actor. I am moving to New York to launch my career. I am going to do a fashion line," said Bynes, who was polite, respectful and upbeat on the phone. "I am not talking about being arrested for DUI because I don't drink, and I don't drink and drive. It is all false."
Right. The Earth is flat, the moon landing was a hoax and toasters can talk.
"People around Amanda are really concerned about her," a source, who has spent time with Bynes in recent months, told People. "She tells people she doesn't party or drink. She doesn't realize she has a problem."
This week, the former Nickelodeon star was "a mess," according to an witness who saw her working out at Equinox gym in West Hollywood on Tuesday evening.
During a spin class, the observer said "Amanda stopped to take her T-shirt off, revealing only a tiny, black, strapless push-up bra — not a sports bra."
Look, it's important for a girl to be comfortable when she works out.
Bynes apparently spent the next few minutes adjusting her bra and hair extensions, then picked up her Louis Vuitton handbag and "pulled out her makeup kit and
Look, it's important for a girl to look when she works out.
After doing her makeup for approximately 10 minutes, Bynes put her shirt back on, picked up her things and left.
On Wednesday, Bynes' attorney, Richard Hutton, appeared in a Beverly Hills courthouse where the judge denied a $50,000 bail request from prosecutors for her April DUI arrest. The judge said if Bynes breaks any road rules going forward, a high but unspecified bail amount will be imposed, according to TMZ.
This should end well.