The schmaltzy TV fairy tale known as "The Bachelorette" returned for another season Monday night with a Cinderella candidate who is poised to meet the man of her dreams.
She's Andi Dorfman, the former assistant district attorney from Atlanta who gave that lunkhead Juan Pablo Galavis a piece of her mind during the last season of "The Bachelor." Now she wants to give someone all of her heart if a love connection can be made among the 25 hunky dudes the show has rounded up for her.
"I can see the end because I'm finally starting," she says. Very profound.
Anyway, you know the routine: Handsome men begin rolling up in limos and basically make fools of themselves. A guy named Brett shows up with a hotel lamp (Don't ask). Patrick brings a soccer ball (a reference to Juan Pablo). Craig sprays champagne all over the place. A dude named Rudie tries out some lame attorney humor (He'll be gone by the end of the night) and another one talks about how his name sounds like "anal."
And then there's Jason, who claims to be a doctor and delivers one of the lamest come-on lines in "Bachelorette" history. He tells Andi that he can diagnose people just by looking at them.
"You have a fever," he says. "You look pretty hot." (Cue the cringes).
Remember people, this is not a spontaneous meeting in a bar somewhere. Jason was cast for the show months ago and he had a lot of time to think as the limo wound its way up to that mansion in the LA hills. And THAT'S the best he could come up with?
Andi, bless her, is a good sport through it all. Looking absolutely stunning in a sparkly dress, she keeps talking about how she's a "hugger" and repeatedly thanks "y'all" for showing up to this fancy meat market.
On a sad note, one of the men vying for Andi's heart is Eric Hill, an "explorer" from the Sacramento area who died in a paragliding accident after filming. At the top of the show, host Chris Harrison paid tribute to Hill, mentioning how "he impressed us with his passion and courageous spirit." The season, Harrison said, will be dedicated to him.
In other developments, the opener took a strange twist when former "Bachelorette" and "Bachelor Pad" contestant Chris Bukowski showed up uninvited and tried to crash the party, claiming he just HAD to meet Andi. But our leading lady wanted none of it and told Harrison to send him away.
Andi also sent six of the regular contestants away without a rose, leaving her harem at 19. Among the survivors was nervous Nick V., who was rewarded with the all-important "first impression" rose because Andi found him "sweet and endearing."
Speaking of first impressions, how do you feel about the show so far? Do you think Andi will make a standout "Bachelorette"? Or is this season already looking like a turn-off?
Give the opening episode a letter grade by voting in our poll.