Orlando Bloom apparently has nothing better to do than beg Taylor Swift for a date.

Right -- the guy from "The Lord of the Rings" who killed everything in sight with his awesome archery skills. Yes, Johnny Depp's pirate buddy from "Pirates of the Caribbean." Oh ... right, the man who made a child with Miranda Kerr.

Miranda Kerr.

Yet, the evil website Gawker, siting reports from the National Enquirer, the New York Post and other sources, is trying to make us believe the man who used to wake up next to Miranda Kerr every morning somehow is desperate to date Taylor Swift.

Nope -- calendar doesn't say April 1.

Says Gawker: "Orlando has been bombarding Taylor with text messages and phone calls, begging her for a date," according to a friend of Swift. "But she's been playing hard to get. She's flattered because she thinks Orlando is so sexy and, in normal circumstances, she would leap at the chance."

Well ... yeah. I'm a heterosexual man, and I'd have to give it some thought.

Swift is reportedly concerned that dating Bloom would hurt her friendships with Selena Gomez -- who is said to be hot for Bloom, even if she is still dating Justin Bieber -- and Miranda Kerr, and is worried about being involved in a rebound romance.

The flip side is, she could probably wind up with some great material for a song when she irrationally jettisons him.


Advertisement

"She's looking for a serious relationship," the friend supposedly said. "She doesn't want to be just another notch on his belt. Taylor knows that Selena is nuts about Orlando and wants to have a real relationship with him. Yet all he seems to want to do is ask her about Taylor!"

This is all so confusing to us mere mortals.

Tony Hicks provides celebrity commentary for the Bay Area News Group. Contact him at Facebook.com/BayAreaNewsGroup.TonyHicks or Twitter.com/insertfoot.