Warning: Your television is about to be slammed with a mind-boggling array of new shows featuring everything from comic book titans and political power players to kooky sitcom families, to one really bad judge.
Yes, it's overwhelming, but we're here for you. What follows are bite-sized takes on the fall fare. Just proceed with caution and have your remote control poised to zap:
"Madam Secretary" (8 p.m., CBS; Sept. 21): Téa Leoni plays a maverick secretary of state who must juggle international diplomacy with a hectic family life.
Our quick take: The silly and superficial pilot might give Condie and Hillary a good laugh.
"Mulaney" (9:30 p.m., Fox; Oct. 5): Stand-up comedian John Mulaney stars, along with Martin Short, in a bland sitcom straining to be like "Seinfeld."
Our quick take: It's not "Seinfeld." Not even close.
"The Affair" (10 p.m., Showtime; Oct. 12): This character-based drama explores the emotional effects of an extramarital relationship during a family vacation on Long Island. The stellar cast includes Dominic West, Ruth Wilson, Maura Tierney and Joshua Jackson.
Our quick take: It sounds like familiar soapy stuff, but the gripping and provocative pilot indicates this could be an affair to remember.
"Gotham" (8 p.m., Fox; Sept. 22): No Batman? No problem. This drama explores the origins of James Gordon (Benjamin McKenzie), a rookie detective in the Gotham City Police Department, and his battle with fledgling villains like the Penguin and the Joker.
Our quick take: The pilot episode delivers a fun, atmospheric, moody and lively hour that has us hungry for more.
"Scorpion" (9 p.m., CBS; Sept. 22): An eccentric genius (Elyes Gabel) and his band of nerdy pals work with Homeland Security to avert complex terrorist threats. The cast includes Katharine McPhee and Robert Patrick.
Our quick take: Try to imagine "The Big Bang Theory" gang solving serious crimes. Yeah, we can't either.
"Jane the Virgin" (9 p.m., The CW; Oct. 13): A young woman (Gina Rodriguez) is saving herself for marriage until -- surprise! -- she becomes artificially inseminated in a hospital mix-up. Zany complications ensue.
Our quick take: Give the outlandish premise some slack, and you'll discover a charming, whimsical soap and a vibrant new star who is easy to root for.
"State of Affairs" (10 p.m., NBC; Nov. 17): "Grey's Anatomy" alum Katherine Heigl plays a CIA operative who counsels the president (Alfre Woodard) on international security. Of course, her personal life is in complete disarray.
Our quick take: This laughable, soapy mess leaves us in a state of disbelief.
"Selfie" (8 p.m., ABC; Sept. 30): This comedy, inspired by "My Fair Lady," follows a self-absorbed young woman (Karen Gillan) who suddenly realizes that being "friended" isn't the same as having real friends. Her plan? Hire a marketing expert (John Cho) to rebrand her image.
Our quick take: So far, this new Eliza is too annoying to tolerate.
"Utopia" (8 p.m., Fox; Sept. 7): An unscripted "social experiment" that challenges 15 contestants to build a perfect civilization from scratch -- over the course of an entire year.
Our quick take: Unavailable for review.
"The Flash" (8 p.m., The CW; Oct. 7): After a freak accident, forensics investigator Barry Allen (Grant Gustin) finds himself blessed with incredible super-speed. Now it's time to be super heroic.
Our quick take: This lively "Arrow" spinoff gets off to a fun and entertaining start, and Gustin is instantly likable.
"Manhattan Love Story" (8:30 p.m., ABC; Sept. 30): A romantic comedy that attempts to expose the differences between men and women through the unfiltered internal thoughts of a young couple (Jake McDorman and Analeigh Tipton) who have just started dating.
Our quick take: Too bad this show has too many trite things on its mind.
"NCIS: New Orleans" (9 p.m., CBS; Sept. 23): The ultra-popular crime franchise -- now a three-headed monster -- sets up shop in the Big Easy. Next stop: world domination.
Our quick take: Should be a sure-bet ratings winner -- unless Scott Bakula and company do something to screw it up.
"Marry Me" (9 p.m., NBC; Oct. 14): Longtime friends Annie and Jake (Casey Wilson, Ken Marino) are destined to be together. But can they actually get it together?
Our quick take: We probably won't stick around to find out.
"Forever" (10 p.m., ABC; Sept. 23): A centuries-old medical examiner (Ioan Gruffudd) just can't seem to die -- no matter how many times he gets killed.
Our quick take: A show called "New Amsterdam" attempted a similar premise and failed. Forever? This show might last for just a few weeks.
"Happyland" (11 p.m., MTV; Sept. 30): A soapy, dopey teen dramedy that delves into the love lives -- and scandals -- of employees at popular theme park.
Our quick take: It's no magic kingdom.
"The Mysteries of Laura" (8 p.m., NBC; Sept. 24): Debra Messing returns in this dramedy as Laura Diamond, an NYPD homicide detective who balances her day job with a crazy family life that includes unruly twin boys and a soon-to-be ex-husband.
Our quick take: Here's the real mystery: What casting director thought Messing would make a believable cop?
"Red Band Society" (9 p.m., Fox; Sept. 17): Imagine "The Breakfast Club" with sick kids. Teens meet, and bond, as patients in the pediatric ward of an L.A. hospital under the watchful eye of Octavia Spencer.
Our quick take: This new Brat Pack won us over, and the pilot features a good mix of humor and heart. The prognosis is promising.
"Kingdom" (9 p.m., DirecTV; Oct. 8): A family drama set in the bloody world of mixed martial arts.
Our take: Unavailable for review.
"Black-ish" (9:30 p.m., ABC; Sept. 24): An upper-middle-class black man (Anthony Anderson) has a primo job, a beautiful wife (Tracee Ellis Ross) and four kids. But is his family losing its sense of cultural identity? Laurence Fishburne also stars.
Our quick take: Despite some clumsy turns, this comedy delivers some solid laughs and smart social commentary. We're in.
"Stalker" (10 p.m., CBS; Oct. 1): Members of the LAPD Threat Assessment Unit (Maggie Q, Dylan McDermott) take on stalker cases, from voyeurism to cyber harassment, while trying to keep their own obsessions at bay.
Our quick take: It's the creepiest show of the fall. Keep the lights on.
"Gracepoint" (9 p.m., Fox; Oct. 2): David Tennant and Anna Gunn play cops investigating the death of a young boy in a small seaside town. It's based on the insanely good British series "Broadchurch."
Our quick take: If it manages to capture the original's moody tone and sense of place, this will be a must-see whodunit.
"Bad Judge" (9 p.m., NBC; Oct. 2): A criminal court judge (Kate Walsh) upholds the rules by day but breaks them at night as an unapologetic party girl-rocker chick.
Our quick take: Walsh brings the charisma, but "Bad Judge" suffers from bad writing. Case dismissed.
"A to Z" (9:30 p.m., NBC; Oct. 2): This whimsical romantic comedy, set in an online dating firm, charts the relationship of Andrew and Zelda (Ben Feldman, Cristin Milioti) from the first day they meet, to, well, we presume cancellation.
Our quick take: We may not get through the entire alphabet.
"The McCarthys" (9:30 p.m., CBS; Oct. 30): A mostly generic sitcom about a loud, sports-crazed Boston family includes Laurie Metcalf and Jack McGee.
Our quick take: Should fare about as well as this year's edition of the Red Sox.
"How to Get Away With Murder" (10 p.m., ABC; Sept. 25): In this suspenseful thriller from Shonda Rhimes ("Grey's Anatomy," "Scandal"), the students of a brilliant, mysterious criminal law professor (Viola Davis) are forced to rely on more than textbooks when they end up with an actual corpse on their hands.
Our quick take: Davis brings a commanding presence, and we've learned not to bet against Rhimes.
"Cristela" (8:30 p.m., ABC; Oct. 10): A sixth-year law student (Cristela Alonzo) struggles to reconcile her lofty career ambitions with the expectations of her highly traditional family.
Our quick take: Alonzo is a charismatic dynamo. Unfortunately, this broad sitcom produces more groans than laughs.
"Constantine" (10 p.m., NBC; Oct. 24): The DC Comics title character (Matt Ryan) struggles with his past sins as he tries to protect humanity from the gathering forces of darkness.
Our quick take: It's the least appealing of the DC Comics properties coming to prime time this fall.
"Z Nation" (10 p.m., Syfy; Sept. 12): It's shades of "The Walking Dead" in this drama that follows survivors of a zombie virus that has attacked the country.
Our take: Unavailable for review.
"Survivor's Remorse" (9 p.m., Starz; Oct. 4): LeBron James is among the producers of this comedy, which follows a young basketball phenom (Jessie T. Usher) who suddenly confronts the rewards and pitfalls of pro-sports stardom.
Our quick take: Unavailable for review.