A short time ago I was entering the parking lot of a nearby business. The first person I saw going the building was a young female wearing skintight pants with "smarty" written very low on her backside. The next person was a male weighing more than 300 pounds, sporting a T-shirt that proclaimed, "Your Girlfriend is in Love With Me." I immediately thought to myself, "You people belong at Walmart." I laughed over that, pulled into a parking spot and realized that I WAS at Walmart.
Many of the customers inside looked just like the photos that are sent around in emails. I had to wonder if they have ever looked at themselves in a mirror before going outside. There were body parts showing that shouldn't be seen by anyone and pants so tight they looked like they were painted on. You could see every cellulite bump on their bottom and legs as well. Just the things you want to see when you are shopping for food.
Speaking of food shopping, isn't it strange how if you check the price per ounce of a large package of something against the smaller package, it's usually cheaper to buy two small ones than the large one?
How about buying a large bottle of vitamins only to find upon opening it, that about a third of the bottle is just empty space? Now I can understand potato chips settling in the bag, thus making empty space when you open it. But could you please tell me how do solid products settle in a glass or plastic bottle?
So many products in the grocery store weigh less than they used to -- like a pound bag of ground coffee that now weighs anywhere from eight to 10 ounces depending on who manufactured it. I guess we should be grateful that a dozen eggs still count out at 12.
If you have all the time in the world to get somewhere, traffic is light, all the signals are green and you get there early. On the other hand, if your are running late, there's more traffic than you've ever seen before, the signals are all red and there's an accident to further slow you down.
Another thing that bugs me: Why should I, in the United States, have to push 1 for English?
You just spent the better part of the weekend washing and waxing your car to a perfect shine. Then it rains, when it's never rained that time of year before and or every bird in town marks your car as their own.
The wind seems to blow the hardest when you've got your hair looking good and have somewhere special to go. It also gusts the hardest on trash night so that neighbor's cans get knocked over and of course their trash blows all over your yard.
I've also learned my lesson on products advertised on TV or in the paper and there's no prices shown. When that happens, trust me, you can't afford it. I saw a pair of loafers that were my size and looked very comfortable but no price listed. I went on the Internet to check out the prices there, but still none was listed.
Finally, I called the store and gave the lady answering the phone the name of the loafers and asked the price. She gave me an outrageous price, which made me gasp, she then stated sharply, "Well, they were made in America!"
I answered, "So was I, but that doesn't make me worth three times the going rate!"
A native of Minnesota, Carol Olson grew up in South Dakota and Walnut Creek and now lives in Pittsburg. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.