Lindsay Lohan -- who is rehab right now -- does not have a drinking problem.
But she does love ecstasy.
Lohan sat down last month with Piers Morgan to talk about all sorts of fun things, like how she's only done cocaine "maybe four of five times."
Did she mean, like, in the previous week?
According to Us Weekly, the interview just appeared in the Daily Mail and contained all sorts of informative tidbits. Like:
Health Ledger gave her advice about controlling her drinking (because, of course, people like Lohan who don't have drinking problems need advice about those nonexistent problems from people who will eventually die of a drug overdose).
She hasn't taken a drug (other than her prescriptions) in a year. Right. And she couldn't possibly have a problem with prescription drugs.
She's not an alcoholic and can give up drinking whenever she wants (see Heath Ledger reference).
She's done cocaine "maybe 4 or 5 times in my life" (math probably wasn't her best subject in school).
She likes ecstasy better than other drugs (which, of course, she doesn't take).
She does not think she needs to be in lockdown rehab for three months (where things could become awkward when she wants to do ecstasy).
She thinks rehab will be good for her because it gives people time to just be by themselves (her rehab, apparently, will be that one on the planet without counselors and other patients).
She's straight. No word from her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson on what she means by "straight."
Tune in tomorrow for more fascinating news about Lindsay Lohan's life.