Premiering Thursday

  • "The Millers" (8:30 p.m., CBS): A news reporter's (Will Arnett) divorce leads to disaster when his parents (Margo Martindale and Beau Bridges) decide to split, and his mom moves in with him. Lots of fart and toilet jokes ensue. Bottom line: This stinker of a sitcom wastes a solid cast.

  • "Welcome to the Family" (8:30 p.m., NBC): Cultures and fathers (Mike O'Malley and Ricardo Chavira) clash when a white family and a Latino family struggle to come together after their teen kids fall in love. Bottom line: Unremarkable and mostly unfunny. Welcome to cancellation.

    "The Originals" is a spinoff of "The Vampire Diaries."
    "The Originals" is a spinoff of "The Vampire Diaries." (Photo/CW)

  • "The Originals" (9 p.m., The CW): Ready for some Klaus encounters? This moody "Vampire Diaries" spinoff transports the beloved villain (Joseph Morgan) and his hot half-siblings to New Orleans. Let the feeding begin. Bottom line: "VD" fans will want to sink their fangs into this one.

  • "Sean Saves the World" (9 p.m., NBC): Sean Hayes hams it up as a divorced gay dad trying to juggle work, a pushy mom (Linda Lavin) and a teen daughter (Sami Isler). Bottom line: There may be no saving this broad comedy, which suffers from a bad case of the blahs.

    Returning Thursday

  • "Scandal" (10 p.m. ABC): Buckle your seat belts. Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) is back. The turbocharged drama picks up just minutes after last season's stunning cliffhanger left off.

  • "The Vampire Diaries" (8 p.m., The CW)


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  • "The Big Bang Theory" (8 p.m., CBS)

  • "The X Factor" (8 p.m., FOX)

  • "Parks and Recreation" (8 p.m., NBC)

  • "Grey's Anatomy" (9 p.m., ABC)

  • "The Crazy Ones" (9 p.m., CBS)

  • "Glee" (9 p.m., FOX)

  • "Project Runway" (9 p.m., Lifetime) "Two and a Half Men" (9:30 p.m., CBS)

  • "The Michael J. Fox" (9:30 p.m., NBC)

  • "Anger Management" (9:30 p.m., FX)

  • "Elementary" (10 p.m., CBS)

  • "Parenthood" (10 p.m., NBC)